नायक राजेश हमाल र सुक्ष्मजीवहरु

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कलाकार / नायक राजेश हमाललाई महानायक बनाएर लेखेका टिपोट को थुप्रो लागिसकेछ । निसन्देह, यो हाँस्य प्रायोजनको लागि मात्र लेखिएको हो । तर, भर्खर-भर्खर Microbiology पढ्न सुरु गर्नेहरुको लागि Bacteria/Virus को characterहरु सम्झिन सजिलो हुन सक्छ ।

1. राजेश दाइलाई त माईक्रोस्कोप नै नचाहिने रहेछ ब्याक्टेरिया हेर्न को लागि ....
2. राजेश दाइ सानो हुँदां Staphylococcus र Streptococcus को गुच्चा खेल्नुहुन्थ्यो रे ।
3. राजेश दाइ सानो हुँदां Escherichia coli र  Vibrio cholera को डण्डीबियो  खेल्नुहुन्थ्यो रे ।  एकदिन, E. coli डण्डीले V. cholera गुलीलाई अलि जोडले हिर्काउनुभएछ, त्यसैले आजसम्म पनि V. cholera बाङ्गोको बाङ्गै छ । 
4. HIV त राजेश दाइसँग डराएर पो रहेछ, CD4 T-cell भित्र लुकि-लुकी बस्ने । 
5. राजेश दाइको लामो कपाल देखेर पो Salmonella typhi पनि peritrichous (झुसे) भएको रहेछ ।
6. २०५१ सालमा नेपालमा ठुलो खडेरी परेको थियो, किन भनेर बुझ्दै जांदा त राजेश दाइले Agaricus biospora (mushroom) को छाता बनाएर ओढ्नु भएको रहेछ ।
7. राजेश दाइले एउटा भुस्याहा कुकुरलाई गोली हान्नु भएछ, गोली लाग्यो, घाऊ-रगत देखिएन, तर पानी देखी डराउने मात्र भएछ, १४ दिनपछी बल्ल कुकुर मरेछ । यसपल्ट त राजेश दाइपनि अचम्म पर्नुभएछ । (Bullet shaped Rhabdovirus).
8. राजेश दाइको 'देउता' चलचित्र हेरेपछि Proteus त एकै ठाउँमा बस्न नसक्ने चकचके भएछ । (Swarming motility of Proteus spp.)

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बिष्णु प्र. मरासिनी

भानुभक्त आचार्यको पादुका दान अब नयाँँ संस्करणमा

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(नेपाली, साहित्य, दशक अगाडिको पानाबाट)

तहाँ सीतारामका चरणतलमा शिर पनि धरी
अयोध्यै लैजान्छु भनिकन ठूलो मनसुब गरी

.............................

तहाँ साथी भाइका चरणतलमा घरि-घरि परी
भरत बिन्ती गर्छ एउटी ठिटी मिलाइदेउ भनी

चुरोटको धुवाँमा होस् या क्यान्टिनको चनामा
उसलाई नै सोच्छ यो भरत आफ्नो मनमा

बियरको बोतल होस् या ल्याबको फ्लास्क
फुटायो कती हो कती अनी छोड्यो क्लास

भ्यागुतो होस् या गड्यौला चिर्दा या लोखर्के
खाली उस्तिर नै आँखा लगाउछँ कर्के-कर्के

क्लासको होस् या प्र्याक्टिकलको कापी सार्दा
उसलाईनै सम्झन्छ ब्याड्मिन्टन पनि हार्दा

मिररको होस् या लेन्सको प्र्याक्टिकलमा
तेर्स्याउँछ ति खाली उसकै अनुहारमा

झिम्क्याउन सिक्ने भनी माइक्रोस्कोप हेर्छ
छोडिदे त्यस्लाई भन्दा हामीलाई कहाँँ टेर्छ

ब्रश नगरेका गन्हाउने ति पहेँला दाँत पनि
भन्ने गर्छ ति सुनका दाँत किन हो कुन्नी

हामीलाई धम्क्याउछ उसलाई नपाए पनि
बिकरको एसिड पनि पिईदिन्छु भनी

साथीभाइ सम्झाउँछन नरो अरु पनि पाईन्छ भनी
उ रुन्छ सिनेमाको पैसा फिर्ता अहिल्यै चाहिन्छ भनी

(दशक पछी थपिंदा....)
एक किलो पाउडर अनी लाली दल्ने त्यो काली
कसरी पर्न गइछे त्यो मोरी त मेरो आफ्नै साली

परिवर्तन गर्नुपर्ने राजनैतीक थेगोहरु

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नयाँ नेपाल ! डबल सेना पाल !!

जय नेपाल ! भए नेपाल !!

लाल सलाम ! पछाडि मन्त्रिको लाम !!

माओवादी जिन्दावाद ! खाओवादी खाएर पाद !!

नागरिक सर्वोच्चता ! रक्सिको भट्टी कता !!

पशुपतिनाथले सबैको कल्याण गरुन् ! बाराक ओबामाले पैसा भरुन् !!

jokes

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Quiet in Church
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church,

"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Little Birkhe jumped up and yelled, "Because people are sleeping!"



The New Baby
Little Birkhe 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunatly, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Birkhe's family to come over and see their new baby.

Little Birkhe 's parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Birkhe before going to the neighbors.

He said "Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home."

"I promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Birkhe.

At the neighbor’s home, Little Birkhe leaned over in the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at it's mother and said "Oh what a beautiful little baby".

The mother said "Thank you very much, Little Birkhe."

He then said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say that he can see good?"

The Mother said "why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision.

Little Birkhe said "well, it is a darn good thing cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!



Two Fingers
It's the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class, "If anyone has to go to the toilet, you should hold up two fingers."

After a moment of quiet thought, Little Birkhe asked: "How will that help?"

chyura

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When we had gone for a dry picnic, there was "chyura" for us. My friend told me, "I don't like chyura and I know you like most the chyura." I wander and asked how did you know that but I also don't like chyura. He told me, "I always see that lots of packets of chyura when I meet your room." I smiled, wrong interpretation had you ever seen finished that?

Happy birth day

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Ramuji said shyamji, "Happy birth day"
Shyam: "Oh! Today is my birth day, I forget about it."
Ramu: "How can you remember? you were the so smallest at that day."

Film hall

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A girl gone for ticket to see cinema and asked that which one is showing in hall.
then the man in counter replied as "Ek bar muskurado, (smile once)".
then the angered girl scold as "Badatmitz (rascal)".
The man replied "wo to pahele lag chuka (That already shown and now changed."

Not Jokes like joke

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I shook hand with sir
When our department was locked, I shook hand with a sir who was standing in front of channel gate (door), thinking that he was our one batch senior dai and said, "K chha dai? Aaram hununcha?" giving my hand.

Forgot
One of our sir told me to deliver that he would not coming tomorrow to teach us and would come on Tuesday. "Tuesday?" ,I said. "Yes don’t forget to deliver",sir emphasized. "Ok sir". After half an hour when friends met, I said, "sir is not coming tomorrow, he will come on Sunday." (How quickly I forgot).

May be your father
One of our, friend expressed his feeling while entering for tea on a house whose was made up of wood and mud and was squabble. He said, "Oh! like my house, I am feeling I am in my house". Then another friend replied promptly, pointing towards house owner who was cooking tea for us, "He may be your father".

Dog thought
In a picnic spot a dog staring a friend for a long time. The friend was then astonished and told, "Why is it looking at me so long time?" then other friend said, "Perhaps it is thinking about his big brother?"